I am an OA newcomer. I have been in program for about five months.
When I first came to OA, I was a mess. I was bulimic and couldn’t stop bingeing and purging. I had tried everything. My doctor gave me medicine that was supposed to help me stop bingeing and purging; it didn’t. A therapist insisted I could stop bingeing if I wanted to. I used to tell her sprouting wings and flying would be easier.(She didn’t like that response.)(MORE)
I was convinced I was a failure. I thought God was punishing me because he didn’t like me.But now I’ve been binge/purge free for almost four months and abstinent for almost a month. Also I am starting to break out of my introverted shell, talk to other OA members and do service.
I have been to a Super Saturday, and I just came back from a retreat. Both were fun! I also just finished my Step Five.
When I first came to OA, I was convinced it would not work for me since nothing else had. But this program works! A few weeks ago, my sister (who is my best friend) moved to Vienna, Austria. I miss her so much, yet I haven’t binged. Sometimes I have misunderstandings with my boyfriend, but I haven’t eaten over them either.
The biggest miracle happened yesterday when I walked into a store and Halloween candy surrounded me. I didn’t look at it or pay it any attention. I bought what I wanted (crayons) and didn’t even think about Halloween candy.
Without OA and my HP, I would still be struggling. Thank you. – reprinted from Lifeline
“Life centered around food.” – Dodie
Listen to Dodie’s Story Podcast
Before OA, I focused on nothing but my battle with food and distrust for others. I was so self-obsessed with finding a way out of the food that I had no idea I was really searching for a way out of myself. (MORE)
Before program, I felt sharing myself with others would expose me and I’d suffer the consequence of judgment and criticism. I now realize that keeping the secrets kept me in the disease. By sharing my secrets with fellow OA members, I am surrendering to my fear of facing them, and my recovery gets stronger. My anonymity gives me a sense of humility in sharing my struggles with others, and I feel a part of the group’s sacred trust.
As an addict, I fought to control my disease with every ounce of energy I had. I found recovery when I gave up the fight and surrendered to something greater than myself. Anonymity helps get me to a new level of surrender because my secret romance with food does not control me. When I share my addict behavior with the group, I let go of trying to control others’ judgment. The more I share, the more I surrender.When I come to meetings, I am no longer debilitated by fear. I share my secrets with others so they no longer control me. If I had to worry about my anonymity being broken, I could not be honest and could not surrender. I no longer have to go through life trying to protect myself from being hurt. In OA, I finally feel free to be myself and who my HP wants me to be. The release of my secrets has lifted a huge weight off me.
If we had to keep our guard up and protect ourselves, we’d never have recovery because we could never fully surrender. By promoting anonymity, we promote our own recovery. – reprinted from Lifeline
“People with the exact same problem that I had.”
Listen to Mary’s Story Podcast